Week 4: Water Sports

Before I start on this week's topic I need to clarify a few things. What I aimed to do with this blog was to create the anti-travel guide i.e. a guide of what not to do. My dear companion Elizabeth notified me that it sounds like I'm whining which I never do. I can happily tell you that although our trip has not always been smooth sailing we have gotten past any problems and, for the most part, been able to laugh our way through it. I would like to think that this would give hope to other potential travellers; if I can do it, by God, so can you.

Now, back to the subject at hand. Ah yes, Watersports.

For anyone who has ever met me this title will produce humour in itself. I am not what you would call a naturally atheletic person in the way I detest any form of physcial exertion. So, when I say that we decided to go kayaking you can only imagine the laughter that is now eminating from my friends' and familys' lips.

It started as all well meant things do with trying to please someone else. Lizzie said, and I quote, that she "liked" kayaking.

We were in Luang Prabang in Laos and had spent a few days there seeing the Wats and the markets and sitting in Cafes in the sunshine. Nearly every other shop in Luang Prabang offered treks or excursions of some sort and we saw that a few combined Kayaking with an elephant ride. Lizzie said that kayaking might be fun. Not wanting to dampen her spirits I said that I also thought it sounded like fun and simply tried to block out previous experiences I had of boats. I thought that plenty of tourists must do this with next to no experience so we signed up.

The day was supposed to start with kayaking up the Nam Khan river before stopping for a ride on an elephant. We then would carry on canoeing and stop for lunch with a visit to a small village just outside Luang Prabang and then continue kayaking for about another two hours. In total that would be about three to three and a half hours of kayaking. Surely it wouldn't be that hard would it?

It was only that evening at a lovely dinner that Lizzie and I began to worry about our kayaking abilities. "I haven't actually kayaked before," Lizzie confessed.

"Then why the hell are we going?"
"I thought it would be fun and you said it would be too".
"Because I thought it was some hobby of yours you hadn't told me about before".

We convinced ourselves it would be fine. It would have to be now we'd handed over our money and wanted at least to see an elephant. Our other worry was the American couple who had signed up for the same trip earlier that day. We feared that they would be really sporty athletic types who would race off ahead of us while we failed to launch ourselves off the bank.

By the time we arrived at the excursions office the next day we were nervously giggling while trying to take deep, calming breaths. We were guided to a tuk-tuk our guide and two young preppy Americans got in too. Preppy we could handle.

We were introduced to our guide and our fellow day trippers. The couple were just in Laos for a week and seemed very nice. What was bad is that when the guy talked about Laos I couldn't shake the image of the colonel in Apocalypse Now with a cigar hanging out his mouth. Not that i'm one for stereotyping.

Our guide was a very sweet young man from Luang Prabang who did day trips with tourists during the day and then went to the University in the evening to study English and Tourism. He also informed us that in the days prior to our trip he had been in hospital because he had collapsed and had to be put on a drip for three days. Sweet he may have been but he was hardly filling us with confidence.

We arrived at the starting point and loaded the boats, oars, helmets and life jackets off the tuk-tuk and climbed aboard. The life jackets were all a little too large which meant that when you sat down in them they pushed up as if you had no shoulders or neck and made it incredibly difficult to move.

Our guide pushed Lizzie and me, in our double kayak, off the shore and down stream. For the first few seconds we seemed to be going straight. Then we began to paddle. To reach the elephants took perhaps double the time it should have done because we couldn't keep a straight line and kept veering off towards either bank.

The elephant ride lasted about an hour and was blissful. We had a slightly stubborn elephant; he kept wandering off to grab food before trundling on. I felt we had a bond. They were such gorgeous creatures but we didn't have time to admire them for too long before we bundled back into the kayak and tried again. It did not get better. The Americans and our guide had to keep waiting for us which was embarassing in itself. More so because our boat kept sinking which turned out was not our fault (there was a leak in the kayak and it kept filling with water) but it did mean we had to keep emptying it on the bank.

After what seemed like years the guide began gesturing to us to stop for lunch. "Yes!" I thought. We crashed into the bank and I leapt up so happy to once again be able to walk on dry land. I stepped out with my right foot and was happily about to place my left on the shore when I tripped over my oar and fell into the shallows. Lizzie was hysterical. The guide rushed over, "Are you hurt?",

"Only my pride", I mumbled.

Our lunch was practically eaten in silence. It was after this that we walked up to a nearby village and saw the few houses and the Wat (temple) and our guide explained to us about the importance of Buddhism in Laos. It was really interesting and along with the elephants made the whole Kayaking ordeal worthhile. He explained that almost every young Laos male becomes a monk at some point or you are not viewed as being "whole" but you are free to leave whenever you want. I coudn't imagine such a laid back view to monkhood in the Catholic Church.

When we returned to the boats our guide suggested that me or Lizzie take his single boat and he ride with the other in our boat. Lizzie went with the guide while I rowed on alone.

Weirdly enough the afternoon picked up from there. I was still going at a snail's pace with blisters emerging on both hands, but it was easier to navigate and it really was a fantastic way to see the river an surrounding area; beautiful palm trees,mountains, some minor rapids...as well as people washing and fishing in the river waving and smiling and we floated passed.

After another two hours we'd finished and with aching arms and blistering hands I felt like we had achieved something. Lizzie too had enjoyed her afternoon but had a slight eye opener when chatting to the guide.

It turned out that Lizzie had asked our guide what it was like to live in Laos. He replied, "What do you think it's like to live here?"

"I imagine very chilled and laid back" ventured Lizzie.
The guide went on to inform Lizzie about the poverty of the Laos people and even said that no one really liked the current government because of the corruption and that the rich could get away with anything.

When talking about his family the guide revealed he's had ten brothers and sisters but two died. One of his brothers died of dissentry and he'd had to carry his dying brother to the hospital.

I am not even going to pretend we could begin to understand life in Laos but it made us view the smiling face of Luang Prabang to tourists a little differently.

We left Luang Prabang a few days later fully rested and ready to take on everything we'd heard about the bizarre town of Vang Vieng.

The main attraction to Vang Vieng is tubing. For those who have yet to experience this phenomenon- tubing is getting a big rubber ring and floating down the river while stopping off at bars along the way to get drunk. About one person dies a month in Vang Vieng from this activity.

We ventured down to the riverside bars a little apprehensive and a little intrigued. It did not disappoint. While we failed to go tubing we stayed at the bars on the riverside and drank while occassionally taking a dip to cool off. Other people seemed to really go for it drinking buckets of Laos Laos whiskey (the local spirit and deadly) and Coke before taking to a 20 ft zip wire above the river and letting go.

We were there for two nights and it was fun while it lasted but it was just such a bizarre place. There were a few Buddhist monks walking around the town next to the drunken westerner while Friends was playing on screens in most of the restaurants.

The next day, slightly groggy we were on a bus to Vientianne with 30 others who all looked equally bad.

I'd managed to have a good wholesome day out in the open air Kayaking and then ruin it all with Tubing (without the tube). Ah well.