A girl with Dragon (Tattoo) and one with a Polar Bear

I have two delightful offerings for you today.

The first I think sounds so good I think there must be a catch but I can't find it.

Tonight, there is a free club night called Mouth Taped Shut at the Coronet club near Elephant and Castle (well maybe that's the catch). The line up is pretty good Groove Armada, Labrinth (live), Zane Lowe, Beardyman, Madeon and Pete Jordon. And oh yeah it's free. Nope I don't get it either. Weirdly, if you type in Mouth taped Shut into Google you get taken to the event's website with loads of pictures from the new Girl with a Dragon Tattoo film. Not really explained why but the poster looks pretty cool with a profile of Lisbeth Salander on it (for those who haven't read seen it-SPOILER ALERT- she is the girl with the Dragon Tattoo).

Although it's free obviously spaces are limited so you have to RSVP by emailing here. You then receive a confirmation email, which you have to print out and take with you.

I'm not really sure if TGWDT is sponsoring it or if Daniel Craig will be there but even if he's not I think it will be pretty bloody good.

Ok so back to Christmas.

This weekend there is a Festival of Fairytales for Grown-Ups being performed at the Bargehouse (a big warehouse behind the OXO tower). The stories are being performed by the Crick Crack club who have been in the warehouse since Wednesday but this weekend, during the day, the shows are free.

I thought there were shows all week and actually went along on Wednesday after work. Got a bit lost around the OXO tower and then found the warehouse. It is directly behind the OXO tower. So I go in and see two old cockneys on this slight balcony leaning over the rail. They're talking to this other man in overalls who is sweeping around a statue type thing of a huge polar bear with a girl riding on the back draped in red material. Hmmm.

They all look at me cheerfully enough but we are all equally confused. It soon transpires that the afternoon performances are only to take place at the weekend. Between 12 and 4pm tomorrow and Sunday visitors are going to be able to wander around the building and happen upon actors telling stories. It does encourage children but from the look of the website it might conjure up nightmares as well as their dreams. Also just noticed on website that it warns there might be nudity. This may be a reason to go/not to go depending on your tastes.

So that's me for Christmas now. Next week I am back in the shire so if I hear of anything going on in London i shall let you know, or not because I will be too jealous.

Toodles.

Have yourself a Merry Tesco Christmas

Firstly, re my last message, you must try and see Never mind the Buzzcocks. I think I laughed non-stop for about 2 hours. I love Noel Fielding even more and I want to give Phil Jupitus a hug. Our host was Jack Barrowman and he just made loads of lewd innuendos the whole time. Amazing.

I now have tickets for the Top of the Pops Christmas Special. I think I may have a little breakdown I'm so excited.

Anyway, I realised that most of the deals I have suggested involve Christmas, but tis the season and all that crap so why not eh? This week's post is no exception.

The following deal comes to you courtesy of Tesco. Yes, has the supermarket giant has the audacity to try and spread a little Christmas cheer. *Mid blog fact: I just did a Google search and to my amusement and horror there are 8 Tescos within a two mile radius of my house. Ridiculous* In London this weekend the evil bastards are offering free mulled wine and mince pies. I will eat their pies and drink their wine but I will not be sucked in, but there is a free ice rink…

The ice rink is situated at The Scoop near London Bridge as part of the More complex's Christmas market.

All summer I had the good intention of going to The Scoop, which is a small amphitheatre that during the summer screened films outside for free. There were a few classics like Dirty Dancing as well as newer films like The King's Speech. It sounded lovely but of course I didn't get round to it.

The More London Complex houses offices and workspaces for creative types on the South Bank. It's here that the market is being held with all the usual gifty things but also, interestingly, has encouraged young entrepreneurs to go and sell their wares. The ice rink is just next to all of this complete with a brass quartet adding to the cheer.

In a rather crude (yet undeniably brilliant) bit of marketing- to get your free refreshments from Tesco you have to pick up a branded cup at the ice rink then take it into the store, which is located next to The Scoop. You can always spit on the floor on the way in if it makes you feel better. I am a sucker for consumerism so will probably come out with my weekly shop.

I am going to attempt to skate although I haven't set foot on the ice for about six years at least. Or maybe I'll just drink the free wine and join in with the band.

The More market is taking place from today until Sunday from 10-6 each day.

For more info visit More London's website.

Really quick shopping spree

Ok writing this in my lunch break so have to be quick. Who would have thought my job would get in the way of my blog? Humph.

So tonight London offers us another voucher to get us spending. This time it comes from Seven Dials (the bit behind Covent gardern) offering 20% off shops in the area. I think it sounds like quite a nice evening with mince pies, carol singers and discounts. Perhaps better than the pandemonium of Selfridges last week. Too much my dears. Too much.

Here is the link telling you which stores are involved and other special offers that are going on. You have to register online and then they send you the voucher.

Right back to work I go.

Free laughs and celeb spotting

I feel like I have discovered a secret place. One where you can spot celebrities you might actually like, have a good laugh and spend nothing. The wonderful world of which I speak is that of the studio audience member. Despite it being one of the easiest ways to be entertained for nothing, very few people seem to know where to get tickets. Allow me to help.

Since moving to London I have seen a variety of TV shows and radio recordings (generally comedy based) and even saw a Radio recording for BBC Scotland at the Edinburgh Festival this year. The most well known things I have been to are shows like Stand up for the Week and 10 o'clock Live, but some of the best have been lesser known radio recordings for BBC 4 and BBC 7.

I went to see a recording of a show called The Verb for BBC 3, which discusses and debates literary topics. Despite knowing nothing about it I was thoroughly entertained and would highly recommend it. Apart from anything else it was just completely different to anything I had been to. It was also in the beautiful radio theatre at Portland Place, just down the road from Oxford Circus.

One of the best recordings I have been to was So Wrong it’s Right for Radio 4, presented by Charlie Brooker, in an odd little studio near Goodge Street. This was amazing because it featured Sarah Millican, Graham Lineham and Shappi Khorsandi. It was bloody hilarious and the venue had a good bar.

The only thing I would say is that you have to get to these venues early. The studios give out a greater number of tickets than the place can hold meaning you are not guaranteed entry. There is also always a bit of hanging around before you are directed in to your seat. However, it is a really good way to see old and new comedians.

My best advice would be to read the descriptions of shows you haven't heard of because you are more likely to get tickets for them and you might just find the next big thing. I have been on the waiting list for QI for over a year. Sigh.

I am however (hopefully) going to try and see Never Mind the Buzzcocks again tomorrow night. I tried to go a few weeks ago but they forgot to tell us that they had already given 100 tickets away to friends of the production team, severely reducing the number of people they could allow in. I was extremely agitate by this and very ready to shout at people down the phone to get more tickets. None of this was needed however becasue when I explained what had happened, they instantly offered me more tickets for another date. Damn their good manners.

Here are a few of the sites I use and have the best shows (in my opinion)

Applause Store- for a whole host of random shows from Buzzcocks to X Factor to Celebrity Juice.

BBC Audience- This has most of the BBC shows especially radio recordings.

SRO Audiences- This has a lot of chat shows like the Graham Norton show as well as 10 o'clock Live and Countdown.

These are all reliable but there are loads out there such as TVRecordings.com, Lost in TV and Clappers (although on the website it only appears to have tickets for Loose Women but that's your call).

Hope to see you at a recording soon! Although, if I run onto the stage tomorrow night to try and hug Noel Fielding would I be banned? Totally worth it though.

Cinema in a bookshop

Here is something for the weekend when it's grey outside and perhaps if you are a little hungover. Nomad Cinema is back springing up in unlikely places to surprise and entertain. The wandering cinema spent the summer popping up in

parks across London and showcasing some fantastic films from screening Fight Club in an old boxing ring to The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou at Brockwell Lido.

Since it is now winter, and fecking freezing, Nomad has decided to rest its hump (their logo is a camel) in a closed Book Etc store in Whiteley's shopping centre near Queensway. A little weird perhaps but I think this deserves a mention because this weekend alone they are showing Dawn of the Dead, Tangled, E.T. and Ferris Beullers Day Off on Sunday. Something for everyone non?

On its website it says that tickets range from £4-8 which may not seem like a deal but if you spend over £10 on food at one of the restaurants in the centre you get one cinmea ticket for free. To tempt your tastebuds there are all the usual suspects like Ask and Cafe Rouge, a Latin restaurant called Chillis and a slightly suspect one that calls itself "Chi Wok, Pasta Rossa, and Cafe Licious" which "is a unique offering of three separate restaurants housed in one". Is it just me or does anyone else not understand why that would be appealing? They also have a Yo Suhi! and a gelato place (which actually also sells ice cream for the cinema) so, you can eat well and then go and drink Vodka in Book Etc. Oh sorry did I forget to mention there is a pop-up Vodka bar, from which you can get drinks as well as your popcorn. The ultimate combination.

Here is the link for more information and all those pesky things like times and dates.

Would it be wrong to go and watch Disney's Tangled and drink Vodka or would that just make it an amazing weekend?

If anyone does head over there let me know what you watched and how you found it.

Thanks and happy Friday.

Some christmas spirit

For my first little gift I saw this voucher for 20% off at Selfridges this weekend and got quite excited. Ok quite a girly reaction, but I get paid this weekend and expect others may too. I plan to have no money by Monday and thought this would be a good place to start.

You need to print off the voucher and then simply present it at the counter when paying. The 20% applies to clothing and get 10% off beauty and wine.

The Selfridges website is being rather uncooperative and not letting me on it (I should get a bonus or at least something for helping promote it) so here is a link to their twitter page instead where you can print the voucher

On Saturday I think all hell may break loose on Oxford Street as the Christmas shoppers come out in force so maybe avoid that day. If however you are just that crazy, then good luck and God speed.

I tried to explain what I am going to do with this blog to a friend and in case you are still none the wiser, I am going to try be a friendly faced version of Groupon without offering you teeth whitening or a Brazilian Blowdry every day. If someone can explain to me what the latter is I might even me tempted to get one. At the moment it reminds of drying my hair and Brazilian waxes and I'm not sure I want to marry the two.

A new beginning

Well hello and hi and how are you?

So as you will have noticed (because I know you check this site regularly for updates of my misfortune) that my last post came in September 2010 shortly before I left my little village, and headed for the big city. The future looked very bright and I thought that just perhaps my life would no longer be a series of laughable events. Not so lucky. First and foremostly I lost my job, or rather I was told to leave (not, I would like to add, in the escorting from the building kind of way that I half feared) because I cannot write about telecoms. Protest as my family might, ultimately my bosses were right; after 10 months of reading, writing and researching the subject I still know fuck all about telecoms. Oh of course that was all after I threw cake at a senior staff member and punched my boss in the stomach. Neither of which was brought up in my evaluation.

Now, on a happier note, I have a new job which is alright but not very exciting (I have however already made a joke about dogging to a colleague- too soon?) which is where blogging comes in. I am going to join the mass of bloggers in the world to try and get heard I realise this may be pointless but meh. That's right: meh.

But I digress, as I am prone to do. I am now starting a new blog no longer about travelling but about living in London. WAIT! Before you click away this is not going to be a diary of my life (too boring) but I realised that if I have two strengths it is writing about my personal misfortunes and finding free/cheap things to do in London. Partly due to the boring job and partly because I am cheap. So what I propose dear reader is that I will endeavour to find cheap things for all of us living in the capital and maybe ad lib a little about my experiences in doing them.

I also want suggestions from anyone who has found something that I might be able to try or if they would like to write a guest post on this blog (I realise this may not seem like a very glamourous offer but I am trying to make a community of sorts).

Now are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...